I’m Dork Helmet, and this is a blog about having fun gambling. What? Having fun gambling? Is that really so hard to do? Actually, apparently it is, for a lot of people who just don’t “get” gambling. You see, I’m a responsible math-smart engineer, and a generally frugal person, so I encounter a lot of people in my circles who know nothing about gambling but are certain that it’s a stupid pastime where you throw your money away. Well, YES IT IS, but it can be HELLA FUN too!
Let’s address my initial tagline right off the bat. “A light hearted take on a potentially crippling addiction.” Okay, there’s nothing funny about those that are addicted to gambling – I’ve had a taste of that in my own family. But like alcohol, for those that can control themselves as responsible adults, gambling in reasonable doses can be fun. Lots of fun. I understand that casinos pay out only because they make a crap load of money… off you! I understand that the house ALWAYS wins in the long run. I understand that a slot machine is mathematically guaranteed to always take in more money than it pays out, and that if you play blackjack PERFECTLY you can only hope to win 49% of the time, and that in poker you are only as good as your last hand (and you’re never as good as you think you are). I get all of that. Thanks for the news flash, Mr. No Fun Smarty Pants. I only gamble what I can afford to lose, thinking of any money I wager as a cost of entertainment, not an investment, and I encourage you to do the same.
So I’d like to share my thoughts on how to have fun gambling, and a lot of that has to do with having the right information. I find that information is strangely hard to find online. Casinos have generic information that is either too biased or uninformative, and they don’t tell me what I need to know, from a “Will I have fun?” point of view.
I’d like to provide that information from the point of view of a real person (me), a recreational gambler looking to understand the entertainment value of a venue. When I go to a casino, I typically play some slot machines with my wife C, then I move onto playing poker (if they have it), while C keeps plugging away at those slots. Along the way, we appreciate the decor, sample some snacks at the bar, see a show, and usually end up stuffing ourselves at the buffet. The format of my casino notes, or reviews, will reflect this mentality of visiting a casino to have a good time. We are not hard core gamblers. But we like going to casinos.
I love Vegas, but I live in Toronto, Canada, so I’ll be focusing a lot of my casino notes in my home province of Ontario. All Slots and Casinos in Ontario are controlled by OLG (Ontario Lottery and Gaming Corporation), one of the largest public gaming agencies in the world. Ontario also runs the largest liquor control board in the world, and that kind of government control is probably going to be a topic of a future blog post. I can see the new tourism ads now: “Come to Ontario for all your drinkin’ and gamblin’ needs! Yeeeeeee haw!”
I’m also originally from Vancouver, British Columbia, and I visit there often, so you’ll see a few casino notes from BC, which is also experiencing a casino boom. And of course, I go to Vegas fairly often, so a few posts will come from there, too. And after that… the world!
I’ll also write about gambling in general, a moral and societal topic I find fascinating. I have some pointers to give on how to extract the most fun out of gambling (I have a system, it works, really!), while keeping yourself disciplined so that the pursuit of fun doesn’t turn into rueful remorse.
So those are my plans, ladies and gentlemen. I feel like I’m filling a niche. I hope you find my posts entertaining and useful, and that you keep things lively with your comments. Let the fun begin!
Fun Gambler 